Weekly Confessions

This week our number looks higher than it really is. Considering we had two outings (one with a friend and one with Ian), our number is actually around where it has been. We did go out once to many times over the weekend. I am still attempting to reduce our Sunday night - after church meal. Aaron really enjoys eating out after church. Ian has already had to be on his best behavior at church. The meal usually ends with him being very tired and bored and ready to go home. Getting everyone ready for Monday takes a little preparation. I am trying to get him compromise by to go out before church.

Coffee/breakfast spending: $22.28

Grand Total: $186.38

My goal for this week is to reduce my coffee/breakfast spending to $17.00

Weekly Confession

Horrible week. I was abusing McDonald's Cafe this week. I am not sure it is fair to ask a Starbucks Coffee Master (click here to learn more... this guy does a nice job tell you what a CM is) to not drink specialty drinks. It may be fair to ask her to make them herself... but who has time for that? :) Despite my failure to make coffee at home, we were doing fine until we ate out twice this past weekend. We actually may be higher. I could have lost a receipt or two. Total this past week.... $127.89.

where have all the placemats gone?

Since I have started cooking more, we have been eating at our dining room table. I really love this table. It is my most favorite piece of furniture in our home. I remember the day I found it (it was a cloudy Tuesday when we lived in Auburn). I went to visit it for two weeks, in the store, before I saved up enough money to purchase it. I bought it thinking that one day I would pass it to one of my children.

Now, looking at its faded top, I am confident that they will not want it for its appeal. I am now hoping to create enough memorable moments that the ragged and worn top will be viewed as timeless, reminding them of cherished childhood memories. I long for the day when our family lingers at the dinner table, long after everyone is finished eat, sharing about events or arguing over recent topical events. I want to create a safe place where no one is made to feel stupid or is ashamed to ask a specific question. I want to teach my children that they do not have to agree with my thoughts or have my convictions, but encourage them to seek our their own.

I think that family dinner is underrated by both children and parents. It seems that a lot of really smart people agree with me. Huh! Who would have thought :)

"Studies show that the more often families eat together, the less likely kids are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders and consider suicide, and the more likely they are to do well in school, delay having sex, eat their vegetables, learn big words and know which fork to use" (Gibbs, 2006).

Of course, the researchers are not able to say what is cause and effect. However, having this time to connect increases numerous coping skills for your children. Compromise ( I don't like chicken but Zoe does.); manners; increasing vocabulary by listening to adults talk; increase problem-solving skills by listening to adults resolve issues (of course only kid appropriate problems -save the hardcore discussions for when little ears aren't around); and being less of a picky eater.

Miriam Weinstein shares some data related to this topic in her book "The Surprising Power of Family Meals: How Eating Together Makes Us Smarter, Stronger, Healthier, and Happier.

"More quantitative data came from The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University. Since 1996 they have been running studies of some 1200 teens (12-17) and their parents, research that included all kinds of variables and factored out race, class and ethnicity. The goal was to distinguish key factors in youth who engaged in destructive behaviors and those who did not. The results came as a surprise. 'They found that, when it came to predicting kids’ behavior, eating dinner with family was more important than church attendance, more important even than grades at school.'(34)" (Borgman)

"The study has continued each year. In 2003, CASA reported: 'The number (of teens) who have regular family dinners drops by 50% as their substance abuse risk increases sevenfold.' (34)

Here are some more findings:

• Compared to teens who have family dinners twice a week or less, teens who have dinner with their families five or more nights a week are 32% likelier never to have tried cigarettes, 45% likelier never to have tried alcohol, 24% likelier never to have smoked pot.

• Teens who rarely have family meals are twice as likely to say they are bored.

• Teens who have frequent meals are half as likely to be highly stressed as those who rarely have family dinners.

• Those who have frequent family meals are twice as likely to get A’s in their schoolwork" (Borgman). (Sidenote: In the report that CASA put out, 5-7 seems to yield the best results.)

There have been a variety of initiatives through the years to empower parents in this area. One current initiative is Family Day. Family Day is celebrated this year on September 26th. The website has a vast amount of resources. They want to use this day for parents to talk with their kids about heavy and serious topics. I think it is funny that they want parents to have this day with their kids (maybe something they don't do on an usual basis) and want them to talk about drugs and alcohol. If I was a kid - that would really make me mad. "You decide to have this "special" time with me and you are deciding the agenda?" The idea means well. However, I think the once a year approach is poor at best. Again, I don't want to come across as if this concept doesn't have potential. Hopefully, it will serve as the first step for many families.

CASA put out this great PSA to encourage families to eat together more.

I have already started brainstorming about a few changes for the Garrett Family regarding dinner.

1) No cell phone, ipad, nook or electronic device. We currently are attempting to create a technology free zone at the table.
2) Start the meal with a mediation or prayer of thanks. Taking a moment each day as a family to look beyond ourselves and our personal lives will allow us to be more present during the meal. We do not do this currently.
3) Having each person share one positive thing that they were a part of today. My hope is that this will encourage each of us to be aware of those around us. I want our children to see the value in being aware of others heartache and have a desire to help. We do not do this currently.
4) Another idea I am considering is using something like Table Topics. I love the concept. Many times I would love to learn something new about Garrett or the Ian (of course eventually Zoebird), but I don't have the mental energy to ask something fun or creative. Have any of you utilized something along these lines?


Resources:

Borgman, D. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.centerforyouth.org/498221.ihtml

CASA, Initials. (n.d.). The importance of dinner vi. Retrieved from http://www.casacolumbia.org/upload/2010/20100922familydinners6.pdf

Gibbs, N. (2006, June 4). The magic of the family meal. TIME Magazine, Retrieved from http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1200760-4,00.html

Miriam Weinstein (2005) The Surprising Power of Family Meals: How Eating Together Makes Us Smarter, Stronger, Healthier, and Happier, Hanover, NH: Steerforth Press L.C., 257pp.

Weekly Confession

Every Monday I will give you the totals we spent eating out the previous 7 days. This past week we spent $106.98. This number is higher than I thought it was going to be. We celebrated Ian's birthday and bought some dessert with the meal. Sad thing was he didn't even eat it. My goal this week is to not break $100.00.

goal #2 - purchase nothing new

This year, one thing I am attempting to do is to not purchase any NEW clothes or household items (furniture, towels, decorations, etc). Now, I am on the search for two items: a side table for the living room and a bookcase for Zoe's room. This time last year my parents were cleaning out their house and gave me a mirror. The mirror hung in my house all through my childhood. It was the ugliest mirror ever! I had told Garrett I was wanting a mirror for our dining room, a couple of days before my dad called. After a $4.00 can of spray paint and two ours labor, ta da.

I share this story, in hopes that I will locate a bookcase and side table that have the same potential.

I have been reading about making a mosaic on the table top. Have any of your guys ever created a mosaic? Any tips? I think it would make a nice addition to my simple living space.

Weekly Confession

Every Monday I will give you the totals we spent eating out the previous 7 days. This week we spent $117.18. That is higher than I want it to be but getting better. I think what is really getting us is eating out Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to places that cost $30.00 a night. We would have spent more this past week but we had a gift card I used. We did eat out for lunch as much as usual. However, we chose fast food rather than sit down places. The university cafeteria was closed half the week due to semester starting.

cinnamon almonds in the crock-pot

Yummy! I made these to carry to Living the Questions tomorrow night. I am not sure that there will be any to take before tomorrow arrives. I altered the recipe just a little. I added pecans and also used part course sea salt and part regular salt. The nice part is they are suppose to freeze well.

tips to reduce eating out #1

I am looking forward to see how much we reduced our eating out this week. I have found a few things that have helped make this process easier.

1) Planning a menu has helped me to not have to stress about what is for dinner. I did this before I went to the grocery store last week. First, I am working to complete the Pantry Challenge. I made an inventory of all our food. I noted what was close to expiration to avoid food waste. Then, I noted what was a staple. From there I created a list of meals that I could put together. I imagine that we have probably 20 meal combination's in all. I will be working over the next few weeks to clean out all the food that isn't a staple. I have been reading a variety of cooking blogs and everyone says that it is important to have a variety of staples in the pantry. Real Simple posted a great list to get you started.

2) Return to the old habit of making a grocery list. I am working to make my list and stick to it when shopping. Once I get back on track, I may consider returning to clipping coupons. Right now, I really don't have the energy. If you are a app user like myself, you should look at MiMeals for the iPhone. It got rave reviews once the bugs were all resolved. Unfortunately, the MiMeal is exclusively for the iPhone. Everything I read on this app made me miss my iPhone (sigh). This app allows you to enter your recipes into a database and upload to your phone. You can select your recipes for the week and ta-da.... your ingredients are added to your shopping list. I downloaded two new apps for the droid that helps with grocery organization. The ipantry is only 1.99 and the Grocery King was 4.99. I think that the Grocery King will be the one I use regularly. If you are looking for something that is very basic, then the ipantry is the one I would recommend. I will let you know how I like it.

3)Preparing part of the dinner before hand has made a big difference. On days where I am booked back to back, this has really helped. Utilizing the crock-pot for the main portion of our meal has added variety.

brown sugar chicken in the crock-pot

Today I tried another crock-pot recipe, brown sugar chicken. This time Aaron actually ate seconds. Later, he told me it was good but that he was also very hungry. I didn't take a picture. It is just chicken that looks brown, you can picture it - I am sure.

homemade granola in the crock-pot

I can't wait till breakfast.

Tried my hand at homemade granola tonight. Of course, I utilized Lin's niffy crock-pot. I will have it till Friday. Then I will make the decision to buy a large one or not. I think the larger one is necessary, but I am not sure if that is "need" or "really NEED". I will keep thinking about it. Anyway, the homemade granola recipe on the site had too many items for my tasted. I made mine with mixed nuts and cranberries. The second batch I made the same but added some cinnamon and sugar.

margarita chicken in the crock-pot

Today I tried margarita chicken from the A Year of Slow Cooking blog. I thought it was somewhat bland, but tastier than my usual chicken (wow - that's sad). One thing I have been doing is not adding any salt. The lack of salt may have been part of the problem. I served it with white rice and a side of beans. I think it would be a nice served on ciabattas . If I could get a more flavorful combination it could work.

vegetarian lasagna in the crock-pot

I utilized the crock-pot for tonight's dinner. I started it this morning before I headed out the door. I thought it was good. Aaron said that it was “actually good” but he didn't get seconds. It was vegetarian style. The recipe calls for spinach. I also added squash and zucchini. There was plenty left. I am sending some to David for his lunch tomorrow and Sheila went home with an extra serving. I think it is worth trying, especially if you want something more healthy than the typical lasagna.

You can get the recipe over at A Year of Slow Cooking.

Growing Up

I go to drop Ian off at daycare today. He loves daycare. His love for it makes my life and guilt so much easier. I take him to his classroom and learn that he will be moving up today. I ask the teacher (who is the best), why no one told me. I could have helped prepare him. She kindly stated that he has been visiting the 3's for weeks (a little time each day). What I should have said was “Why didn't you tell me - so I could prepare myself?” I wanted to cry. I know he turns three in a couple of weeks. I am glad that he is advancing to another class. I just wasn't ready.
 

What's for dinner?

I imagine most husbands and children ask their wife/mother this on a daily basis. In our house it has been more of , “Where are we going for dinner?” I went through our bank statements and calculated how much we spent on eating out the last three months.

October ($676.19), November ($727.36), and December ($772.97)- total of $2176.52.

Our set budget for “weekend/eating out” is $400.00 a month.

It isn't just about the money. Garrett's point was this - I don't usually enjoy cooking meals. He doesn't usually enjoy eating when I do. Garrett shared that he really enjoys the experience of eating out. This is evident by the fact that he eats almost the same thing every time (chicken fingers). I also am pretty busy during the work week. I do not want to cook for an hour when I get home, especially when my cooking is below average. If we were to stick to our budget, we could still eat out twice, maybe three times a week.

Plan of attack:

1) Eat lunch out only at the university cafeteria. The food is usually delicious and there are healthy options. Also, it is within walking distance (Garrett doesn't have a car) and is only $4 for each of us. I am in the office most everyday now. I can either go home for lunch, skip lunch, or eat with him at the cafeteria. For the price of one typical meal ($40), we both could eat lunch at the cafeteria.

2) Reduce my coffee habit to a couple of times a week. Consider taking a coffee pot to the office.

3) Plan ahead. I have been reading about cooking with a crock-pot at "A Year of Slowcooking". I borrowed Lin's pot to give it a test drive. All this week, I will be trying different recipes. If I find it tasty enough, I may invest in a large crock-pot next month.

4) Reduce the amount of times we eat out for dinner during the week.

5) Utilize coupons that I have accumulated.

Any other suggestions?

Considerations for 2011

Let me start by saying, I am not a writer. Garrett (my husband) is unsure why I would want the task of blogging. I told him that since I got rid of my Facebook account, I want some way to share my ideas. He insinuated that no one will read it. I have come to terms with that. I am doing a lot of reading lately. Since having Zoe, I have reduced my client load and hired one new counselor. I have loved having more time to be home with Ian and Zoebird. Between loads of clothes, sessions and cleaning baseboards, I try and find a few moments for myself. I have started reading on being frugal and reducing consumerism. My most recent read is by Judith Levine titled "Not Buying it -My Year Without Shopping". The author spent an entire year (during the George W's rein of terror) not making any purchases. I would have preferred more of a "how to" guide or a "Top 10" list to inspire me in my own adventure. However, what I did come away with is a small desire to do a few things differently. Things I am considering for the new year:

1) Reducing how much we eat out
2) Reducing consumerism and waste by purchasing clothing and household items secondhand
3) Reduce food waste
5)Increasing the amount of free entertainment

Plan of attack coming soon.

About the Garrett's

I thought it would be nice to start this blog with sharing some about our family.

Aaron is a computer scientist who teaches at a small university. From our nearly 8 years of marriage, it appears that he enjoys playing video games and reading in his spare time. His most current reading addiction is social psychology.

Ian is my oldest. He will turn three in a couple of weeks. He is totally obsessed with Thomas the Train. He spends hours at his newly acquired Thomas the Train table. There he role-plays different scenes stored in his little creative mind.

Zoe Lin (aka Zoebird) is 2 months old and is just coming into her own little personality. Her most favorite game is verbal volley. She likes looking around and hates being on her stomach.